Happy
New Year! A week into 2014 and add polar vortex into the mix, this year is
certainly off to an interesting start. Meanwhile I have been in the picturesque
Nairobi climate the last few weeks. As I ended my 2013 I was surrounded by a
peace I can’t really explain. After months of being burned out I felt the most
relaxed in literally a few years somehow the dark circles under my eyes are
even disappearing. I came to a few
realizations as always but the most important was that life didn’t have to be
the way I was living it. Sure 2013 brought many good things to me but it also
made me realize that I need to take better care of myself. In doing so I had to
make some difficult decisions about my career and personal life. I tend to
internalize my stress and it presents itself by insomnia, poor eating habits,
and negative mindset. I was an unhealthy person last year and while I am not a
resolutions person per say (more goal-oriented), I am facing transition in
2014.
Change
is hard. A friend posted a study saying that it takes 66 days to effectively
form a new habit. Personally, I like the fact that the New Year is a clean
slate and an opportunity. As I work in development I follow a number of related
blogs. One of my favorite posts on Development Crossroads is a 3 part series
entitled, “3 Keys to Navigating Change
and Landing on Your Feet.” The post is not dated but I find myself going
back to it time and time again. For me the 3 keys are like stages but they may
not manifest the same for everyone. The following is the condensed version.
Stage
1: Letting Go
This
is positively the hardest stage because it entails releasing the past in order
to begin anew. Most believe that one should have no regrets. I often regret the
ending of situations but this stage focuses on closure. Yesterday is gone and
today is a new day. I have been listening to the audiobook for the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and the practice of being in the present
is very effective if maintained. Endings often are associated with a loss of
some sort. The advice in the article is to try and ‘end’ well when starting the
transition period.
Stage
2: Letting Be, aka the Neutral Zone
I
call this the buffer zone and it is currently where I feel I am. This stage
marks the time in between endings and new beginnings. At times I feel this is
the most relaxing stage as there is ample time for self-rejuvenation. If the
next phase has not presented itself some get very stressed. As I get older this
stage is akin to hitting the reset button. So far I have rested, been reading,
eaten well (maybe too well) and tried to be as relaxed as possible without
worrying about tomorrow. Acknowledging that I can’t go back in time affected me
when I entered this stage. I said to myself, you did what you could and now its
time to just be here now. As typical
with me I wanted to skip this stage and just move ahead but this is the core
stage of transition- personal growth and ridding the old shell much like a
snake sheds its skin. The article provides ten tips to make it through this
stage.
- Shift your attitude by recognizing that this is a time of reorienting and redefining yourself.
- Readjust expectations and accept that this will be a less productive time.
- Limit additional changes in your life/work/environment. (HARD ONE!)
- Expect uncomfortable emotions: fear, confusion, even despair.
- Take time to be alone on a regular basis for reflection.
- Get creative: question, experiment, brainstorm, and try things out.
- Set short-term achievable goals to establish a sense of accomplishment and forward movement.
- Tracking Progress (journaling, going on retreat, and checking in with a friend/coach regularly)
- Resist the urge to skip this stage.
- Survive it: you will live through this and come out on the other side.
Stage
3: Begin Anew
The
blog author quoted William Bridges saying, “beginnings take place when people
are ready to make the emotional
commitment to do things the new way and see themselves as new people.” I
couldn’t agree more with this. This process doesn’t have a timetable. As
typical in this stage and a symptom I am already feeling, nervousness takes
hold. Beginning anew is scary requiring a new commitment while the reminders of
the ending are there still. The ‘ending’ or past is very final by this stage
and the issue of taking a risk with the new journey/identity is even more
daunting.
2014
means for me landing on my feet even though my knees may be shaky still. I make
3 goals a month and 3 major ones in a year. This month I aim to stand tall and
learn as much as I can about my new endeavor.
-a-
