What is it about being a 20-something? This question has truly
plagued me for most of my 20s. I stumbled upon an article entitled “10 signs you are a 20 something,” a few months ago and it hit the nail on the head. I
wanted to run far away and even clicked the X on the right corner of the screen
but it was too late because I had already control + c’ed the link and of course
read it.
10. You take the phrase "permanent
residence" lightly. (Check)
9. You feel like you're in a second
adolescence. (Check)
8. 7. You can practically
recite the script at H.R. orientations. (Check)
6. You've considered moving home to live with
your parents -- or currently do. (Check)
5. Sometimes you react, then think
(Check)
3. You consider all your life options still
open. (Check)
To say that my 20 something journey thus far has been
intense is an understatement. Not only
have I globe trotted for most of my twenties but I have also had too many jobs
to count. Like most twenty something’s living, I suffered from what I call “failure
to launch syndrome.” Personally, I have felt lost and in transition for most
this decade. I was still a bright eyed undergraduate when I started my 20's and
the world seemed so big, idealistic and ready for me to take on. College was a
great time in my life and I look back on it with nostalgia. Not only did I meet
some of the best friends I have but it really helped me find who I was and come
to terms with my identity. Unfortunately, it also forced me to rethink the
career I thought I wanted. At that time I envisioned becoming a foreign correspondent
and exposing the social injustice of the world. I admit it was very Anderson
Cooper like of me. After a few internships in the media industry pre and post graduation,
I knew this career was not enough for me. I quickly opted for the more hands on
approach and joined the Peace Corps as a 22 year old. It’s weird when you reach
22-23 because you are legally an adult and you start to really feel like it. This
scared me terribly. The student loans started coming in and here you are at
home still not on the path you envision before finishing your last semester.
Now don’t get me wrong, I did not join Peace Corps for these reasons. I had
been volunteering in development for years at that point. On the other hand I was happy to actually
leave the US. The pressure from my peers of “settling in to a career and life”
really ate at me. Adult’s way past their 20's had no idea how awful it felt to
hear ‘So, what’s next?’ a million times and look at you like you are lost. It
was quite depressing.
Lesson 1 of the 20s: Figuring out life takes
time and more than you thought it would
At the time I was
trying to be patient with myself to step into my next move. I first applied to
Peace Corps in 2006, as a 20-year-old undergraduate junior. Then my 21st year started. I was on
top of the world at graduation. It came and went, then fall came and finally
winter started. I felt so lost as the possibility of Peace Corps seem to fade
with time. Then I got a large envelope right before my 22nd. During my
first 6 months of Peace Corps I had an epiphany that development was truly my
calling after years of volunteering. After looking at job prospects and
speaking to those in the field it dawned on me that I needed to further my
knowledge. That is when I first thought of graduate school. Never in a million
years did I even think I would pursue a master’s degree. For the first time I
also felt ‘old.’ The village I served in had a marrying age of +/- 15 so when I
met other 20 something’s they were married with at least 1 child. Back home a few friends were in serious relationships
but nothing close to kids. Still being around women my age with children really
got my mind thinking in that direction and the idea of a biological clock
entered my mind.
Lesson 2 of the 20s: Do not rush life’s big
moments, especially when you are not ready for them
Lesson 3 of the 20s: It is okay to spend your
life savings and be adventurous
 |
| A lost 20 something in Ireland |
I had only been
in one serious relationship up to that point, but whatever gave me the idea
that I was ready for a family and marriage was really unrealistic. So I did
what most 20's do when they have no idea what’s next. I used what savings I had,
and a chunk of my PC readjustment allowance to travel with my best friend. I
saw parts of Morocco I have never seen during my PC service, and then I went to
London, Kenya and Ireland. I was very weary from all the travels but this truly
was the most exciting few months of my life. I did not want to stop this trip
but money got really tight.
Lesson 4 of the 20s: Believe your mom when
she says everything will work out
Then I went home
and reality set in. After deferring my loans during Peace Corps I was crippled
with debt, living at home, and again almost close to giving up on grad school
after a series of setbacks. I failed to get into my top school and I was
waitlisted by my replacement top school that I discovered the same day I got
the rejection letter. I tried for months to snag a job. My resume was not
impressive to anyone in America or the world it seemed. I used the time to
volunteer as I had done for most of my life anyway and get back into running. I
excelled at both and they distracted me long enough. I also used this time to
bond with family. I felt adultish because all they were using adult jokes and I
was included in adult conversations.
Lesson 5 of the 20s: The fast track is not
for everyone so try Plans C-Z
Then it all hit
me. I was 25 and having a quarter life crisis. All my best friends were
scattered all over the world, perhaps entering their version of phase II of the
20s. My facebook friends status updates read: engaged, married, and it’s a boy/girl.
Here I was at home, no job, and no +1. The high of college and living abroad
had well worn off. Nothing seemed to go the way I envisioned it. Then I finally
got my chance. I had applied at 24 to graduate school and after 11 months of waiting
someone finally gave me a chance. Then the acceptance letter came 4 months into
my job. Telling your boss this is not the ideal situation. Part of me felt as
though I was betraying the hand that fed me and just when I began to pay off
some debts and get my head above the water. No to mention all the career clothes
I bought on clearance at Marshals. What do you do with those?
-a-
To be continued…but
until then here are some secrets to surviving your 20's.
